When Mourning became an industry
After Prince Albert died in 1861 and the Queen of England set a new standard for bereavement, society on both sides of the Atlantic took on mourning with a vengeance. That same year, the American Civil War began, and death on a massive scale touched communities and families north and south. Mourning became a central fact of wartime life. After the war, death continued to be ritualized. During an age when there were customs for every aspect of life, there were also elaborate rituals to observe after death—starting with what to wear.
Social decorum demanded that family members adjust their behavior and clothing for six months to a year after the death of a close relative. All clothing, even underwear and accessories like gloves and handkerchiefs, had to be black. Thus, mourning attire became a society-wide necessity. Catalogs and stores advertised them. In fact, mourning apparel became the first type of clothing to be purchased "off the rack."
At home, a wreath of laurel, yew or boxwood tied with crepe or black ribbons hung on the front door to alert passersby that a death had occurred. Black crepe covered windows, mirrors, and pictures. Guests coming by to pay respects would be greeted by mourners and served “funeral biscuits” – small cakes wrapped in white paper sealed with black sealing wax.
The parlor was called the “death room” when a coffin was on display. The body of the deceased was watched over every minute until burial, hence the custom of “waking.” The wake also served as a safeguard from burying someone who might not happen to be dead.
And those weren't the most unusual rituals...
Hair Memorabilia
Jewelry and art made from the hair of loved ones became all the rage during this era when mourning was elevated to an art form.
Everything from brooches to watch fobs to elaborate works of art was made from human hair.
Locally, in Kansas City, Leila's hair museum features thousands of examples of this custom, which reached its zenith in the Victorian era. It's truly amazing...and more than little bizarre.
Memento Mori
Another grim custom was photographs of the dead. 
These images were marketed as treasured mementoes. One can understand why when you consider how photography was just getting started as a business and getting photographs made was expensive. The death photo--or memento mori--might be the only image they had of their loved one.
In many cases, the photograph was "staged" -- that is, the child is featured with living siblings and family members or with beloved dolls and toys.
In some cases, they used elaborate systems to prop up the dead person, then painted eyes on the image to make it look as if they are still alive.
Mourning merchandise
Less creepy, but just as strange is the industry of mourning merchandise.
Shrewd companies sold everything from buttons to pins that were used during the official mourning period. Everything had to be black and couldn't be shiny (until later in the mourning period)
In fact, mourning became such a big money-maker, people went into the business of becoming "professional mourners."
I guess if your acting career didn't take off on the stage, you could always show up at funerals.
Tear Catchers
Made popular during the Civil War, this item was generally worn on a chain.
Lachrymatories (as they were called) were usually made from decorative glass vials about an inch or two long with a stopper at one end.
A woman whose beau or husband was off at war would "store" her tears in it. If he returned, she could empty it. If he didn't, she would display it as a demonstration of her continued devotion.
Coffin Alarms
Another curious and widespread concern in the nineteenth century was the fear of being buried alive. Even Mary Todd Lincoln, a relatively well-to-do, well-educated woman, shared in her final instructions: "I desire that my body shall remain for two days with the lid not screwed down.'"
The fear of a loved one being buried alive inspired coffin makers to design warning systems such as a bell on the grave which was connected by a chain to the inside of the coffin in cases of premature burial. Thus the expression: “Saved by the bell.”
You'll find some of these customs featured in my book Fugitive Hearts, Book 4 in the series, Steam! Romance and Rails
Is she a grieving widow or a heartless killer?
Everyone in Parsons, Kansas, considers hotel owner Claire Daines a respectable, decent woman. Until she shocks the entire town when she rushes into a saloon in her nightclothes to confess to an inebriated lawman. “Sheriff, I shot my husband.”
Is it an accident, as she claims? Or is it murder? As Sheriff Frank Garrity unravels the widow’s subterfuge, the truth will challenge his notions about law and justice and force him to make a choice between desire and duty.
This passionate Western romance follows a suspenseful chase along the historic Katy Railway, where a skeptical lawman learns an unexpected truth and a lesson about love.
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