Hey, GLIAS Readers!
My mission for today was to tell y'all more about me since I'll be popping
in with interviews and so forth going forward. You've probably figured out at
least one salient point--I'm a Southern girl. My liberal use of words like
y'all and hey, and of course the setting for my novel give me away.
Also, clearly I'm a book lover. You have to be to write them, right? I'm the
poster child for getting lost in a story. If I'm not being transported to
someone else's world via novel, I'm playing with my imaginary friends and creating
Beyond those two things, I struggled with what to share--how to tell y'all
all about me without telling you my life story, which might alternately sedate
and dismay you. I settled on telling you how I handle stress. You can
tell plenty about a person by her coping mechanisms.
Here's a great way to relax when you're in that moment just before running
through the streets of your hometown wearing nothing but your mamma's pearls, a wide-brimmed hat, and
argyle socks, with a bullhorn, ranting about the senseless slaughter of artichokes for party dip, or howling that the Christmas trees won't fit in the bathroom.
I am so there--or I was, yesterday. This helped. It will help you, too, when you're on the brink, I promise.
Go into the bathroom. Turn off all the lights and light a few candles. Start
your bath, running the water a little warmer than you normally might. Pour in
half a bottle of your favorite bubble bath--lavender scented is great for this.
Some Lancôme Aroma Calm bath oil is also nice. Throw in a fizz ball. The more
products you put in the tub, the better.
Get the champagne bucket and start a bottle chilling by the side of the tub.
Now, I have a reputation with certain parties--read, Jim, The Husband--of
ALWAYS preferring the most expensive of everything. He swears I can spot the
highest priced anything at fifty paces. This is blatant mischaracterization, naturally. But I am particular and can spot quality. I digress.
While I've had pricey French champagne which I enjoyed, Korbel Brut (yes, I
know technically it's not Champagne) is my personal favorite. This is an anomaly,
as it usually goes for around nine bucks a bottle at Costco.
If you've already had more than two glasses of wine, use Pellegrino instead
Crank up iTunes and make yourself a playlist of twenty songs that appeal.
Resist the urge to fret over which songs to pick. Don't sit there and try to
make the perfect Bathtub Playlist, and don't choose more than twenty. Remember,
your bath water is running.
Transfer the new playlist to your iPod shuffle. The shuffle is best for
bathtub use, as it's easily clipped to your bath pillow. If you don't have a
bath pillow, roll up a towel and clip the shuffle to it. Lock the bathroom door
and climb into the water. Pour yourself a glass of bubbly, pop the earphones
in, and turn on the iPod and the jets.
Your bath additives, activated by the jets, will soon make mountains of
bubbles, beyond which you cannot see. Close your eyes and sip the icy bubbly.
When you start to feel too warm, hold your champagne flute over your face and
turn it upside down, dousing your face, neck, and chest. Pour another glass.
Periodically peek at the mountain of bubbles. Just before they spill out
into the floor, pull the plug on the tub. When the water level drops enough,
turn on the cold water. This will keep the bubbles at a safe level.
Continue alternately sipping the champagne and pouring it on yourself until
you feel human again.
After you get out of the tub, blow out the candles and go straight to bed.
Sleep until you feel like getting up.
Disclaimer: Please do not try this at home if you cannot do
it without drowning, scalding yourself, or experiencing an irreversible past-life
Y'all come see me tomorrow and I'll tell you all about finding a publishing home for my debut novel, LOWCOUNTRY BOIL.
Thanks so much for the warm welcome to Get Lost in a Story! I look forward to getting lost in a great many together. Please come visit me on the web anytime--I'd love to hear from you!
Be sure to click the website link and sign up for my newsletter to be entered in a drawing for a free e-Book (your choice) or a $15 gift card. I promise you will hear from me only when I have something important to say--like I have a new book coming out.
Have a great Saturday!