Who’s next on my North of the Border guest blog series? Today we have Rick Lauber, author of Caregiver's Guide for Canadians and The Successful Caregiver's Guide.
Where does Rick get his inspiration? How is Canada part of his inspiration? Read on and see...
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Canada’s majestic Rocky Mountains stretch between Alberta and British Columbia. Their snow-capped peaks, seemingly, touch the sky. My family visited these mountains and hiked their trails often when I was younger.
I have fond memories of these trips. Our little group must have been a sight to see … Dad would lead, my two sisters and I would follow, and Mom would bring up the rear. Mom’s standard excuse for lagging behind was that she wanted to admire the wildflowers; however, I suspect now she followed us to corral any of her stray children. Among our many hiking destinations were Lake O’Hara, Mt. Edith Cavell Meadows, the Lake Agnes Tea House Trail, and Crypt Lake (a full-day hike including a tunnel through a mountain wall).
Granted, it’s been a long time since our family hiked together. Mom and Dad have passed away. Leukemia took my mother and Dad, in his later years, was stricken with Alzheimer’s disease and could not even remember the mountain trails, the current day of the week, his career, nor even me as his own son. Both Mom and Dad lost a great deal of personal strength and stamina. Tackling a steep trail became out of the question; they could barely walk a few blocks without tiring.
In their final years, I became a co-caregiver for both of my parents. Working with my two sisters, I helped move them; shuttled them to and from doctor’s appointments; served as their banker; and, in due course, was appointed the jobs of Joint Guardian and Alternate Trustee for Dad.
Caregiving can be similar to hiking … you may have a destination you wish to reach; however, which trail you take, how long you take to reach that destination, and who you choose to bring along on your trip can vary. Some caregiving trails are flat, smooth, and easy to travel on (this will depend on the level of your own caregiving experience, your loved one’s health condition, your readiness to ask for help and delegate work to others, your relationships with others, your personal strengths and weaknesses, your recognizing the importance of your own self-care, and so on). Other caregiving trails can be long, steep, and rocky – thus making navigating them time-extensive and difficult. The latter trails can be physically, emotionally, and mentally exhausting – when you finally reach your end goal, you may breathe a sigh of relief and satisfaction following your achievement.
While I did not completely recognize it until after my parents’ deaths, I found my own caregiving trail quite rewarding and I enjoyed my view from the top. Not only did I did learn more about my parents, I strengthened my bond with my sisters, I became more self-confident with what I could do. Caregiving also increased my interest in writing as I used this as a coping mechanism when the trail got tough.
Since my parents’ deaths, I have returned to Banff and/or Jasper to hike the same trails I did as a youngster. With doing so, I frequently recall our own family processions and smile.
Comment below for a chance to win an e-copy of one of Rick's books (winner may select the Canadian or American title): Caregiver's Guide for Canadians or The Successful Caregiver's Guide.
As a former co-caregiver, Rick Lauber helped and supported his own aging parents (his mother had Parkinson's and Leukemia and his father had Alzheimer's). Rick learned that caregiving is challenging and used writing to personally cope. His stories became two books, Caregiver's Guide for Canadians (found at https://tinyurl.com/y3cnsb2a and in Chapters – Indigo bookstores) and The Successful Caregiver's Guide (found at https://tinyurl.com/y22ntrmg and in Barnes & Noble bookstores).
Both of Rick’s books offer support for prospective, new, and current caregivers and discuss what to expect as a caregiver, highlight relevant issues, and identify resources where caregivers can find help.
From Trails to Trials - by Rick Lauber
I have fond memories of these trips. Our little group must have been a sight to see … Dad would lead, my two sisters and I would follow, and Mom would bring up the rear. Mom’s standard excuse for lagging behind was that she wanted to admire the wildflowers; however, I suspect now she followed us to corral any of her stray children. Among our many hiking destinations were Lake O’Hara, Mt. Edith Cavell Meadows, the Lake Agnes Tea House Trail, and Crypt Lake (a full-day hike including a tunnel through a mountain wall).
Granted, it’s been a long time since our family hiked together. Mom and Dad have passed away. Leukemia took my mother and Dad, in his later years, was stricken with Alzheimer’s disease and could not even remember the mountain trails, the current day of the week, his career, nor even me as his own son. Both Mom and Dad lost a great deal of personal strength and stamina. Tackling a steep trail became out of the question; they could barely walk a few blocks without tiring.
In their final years, I became a co-caregiver for both of my parents. Working with my two sisters, I helped move them; shuttled them to and from doctor’s appointments; served as their banker; and, in due course, was appointed the jobs of Joint Guardian and Alternate Trustee for Dad.
Caregiving can be similar to hiking … you may have a destination you wish to reach; however, which trail you take, how long you take to reach that destination, and who you choose to bring along on your trip can vary. Some caregiving trails are flat, smooth, and easy to travel on (this will depend on the level of your own caregiving experience, your loved one’s health condition, your readiness to ask for help and delegate work to others, your relationships with others, your personal strengths and weaknesses, your recognizing the importance of your own self-care, and so on). Other caregiving trails can be long, steep, and rocky – thus making navigating them time-extensive and difficult. The latter trails can be physically, emotionally, and mentally exhausting – when you finally reach your end goal, you may breathe a sigh of relief and satisfaction following your achievement.
While I did not completely recognize it until after my parents’ deaths, I found my own caregiving trail quite rewarding and I enjoyed my view from the top. Not only did I did learn more about my parents, I strengthened my bond with my sisters, I became more self-confident with what I could do. Caregiving also increased my interest in writing as I used this as a coping mechanism when the trail got tough.
Since my parents’ deaths, I have returned to Banff and/or Jasper to hike the same trails I did as a youngster. With doing so, I frequently recall our own family processions and smile.
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Book Giveaway
Comment below for a chance to win an e-copy of one of Rick's books (winner may select the Canadian or American title): Caregiver's Guide for Canadians or The Successful Caregiver's Guide.
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As a former co-caregiver, Rick Lauber helped and supported his own aging parents (his mother had Parkinson's and Leukemia and his father had Alzheimer's). Rick learned that caregiving is challenging and used writing to personally cope. His stories became two books, Caregiver's Guide for Canadians (found at https://tinyurl.com/y3cnsb2a and in Chapters – Indigo bookstores) and The Successful Caregiver's Guide (found at https://tinyurl.com/y22ntrmg and in Barnes & Noble bookstores).Both of Rick’s books offer support for prospective, new, and current caregivers and discuss what to expect as a caregiver, highlight relevant issues, and identify resources where caregivers can find help.
Learn more about Rick and correspond with him via...
Website: www.ricklauber.com
Facebook: facebook.com/CaregiversGuideForCanadians
Twitter: twitter.com/cdncaregiver
~ All pictures (except for the 1st) are supplied by today’s guest with their assurance of usage rights.
Thank you sharing your journey and how writing helped you cope through the more difficult aspects of it. How wonderful to be able to find joy in retracing those steps you'd taken all those years ago with your parents and sisters. Remembering to take care of yourself as the caregiver is not always the first thought on one's mind--or their focus. At least it wasn't for me. I still had a family of my own to take care of while juggling three part time jobs, and writing. But family first has always been my motto. Wonderful blog and pictures.
ReplyDeleteThank you for reading my blog and sharing your comments. Yes, caregiver self-care is not always the first priority for those providing help and support to loved ones. It's understandable when and why this happens; however, it's also disappointing and sad to see.
DeleteYou have had a double whammy with both parents having such a serious illness. You're lucky you had siblings to help carry the load. I was the only caregiver for my mom because my older brother lives down east. Your journey brought back a lot of memories for me and made me smile. For years my husband and children spent vacations in Jasper and Banff and had fun hiking and climbing a mountain (once). And when my mom was diagnosed with a fast-spreading cancer, I went through a lot of emotional trauma. It would have been a help to have had your book then to get me through. Now, I'm thinking I need this book for the future as my sons may be faced with being caregivers, particularly the only one who lives here in town. So far we're managing pretty good, but slower. I'm so glad writing was a coping mechanism for you. It is for me, as well. When I concentrate on creating and editing, my world falls away and I'm only thinking of "the book". That is a great form of escapism for a while. Thank you for sharing your experiences.
ReplyDeleteA "double whammy"?!?! That's a great way to look at it ... I don't know whether it was a blessing or a curse to tend to both my parents at the same time. The job certainly came with its fair share of challenges! Yes, I wrote my books with prospective caregivers in mind - the sons and daughters who are not anywhere near close to being caregivers but should, proactively, prepare for the years ahead.
DeleteVery interesting thoughts on caregiving. My mother had Alzheimer's, yet no matter how lost she seemed, she always remembered who I was, for which I was so grateful. The road was long, and at first I didn't know what I was dealing with. As it became more clear, I realized this was not going to get better, and I needed to come up with a new plan. It broke my heart that a very independent minded woman lost her autonomy, for her own protection. Good luck with your book.
ReplyDeleteThey say those with Alzheimer's retain their long-term memories the longest. So it was with my father who forgot my younger sister, me, my older sister, and finally my mother in that order. It was the day when we moved Dad into a secured Alzheimer's care unit when I realized he wasn't going to get any better - a very sad day, indeed. As a retired English professor, Dad was always well-read and very intelligent ... Alzheimer's stole these characteristics; however, it did not steal the fact that Dad will always be Dad.
DeleteThank you sharing your books and experience. I appreciate the analogy between hiking and care-giving. Based on my own care-giving experiences, I found it interesting and thought-provoking. All the best with your books!
ReplyDeleteThe analogy between hiking and caregiving seemed very appropriate! Not all caregiving trails are flat and smooth and one doesn't always know what is around the next corner. While hikers often do know where they are headed, caregivers don't always have a map and do not always pack along the necessary supplies.
DeleteCongratulations, Amanda! I've just drawn your name and you are my winner of an e-book copy of either Caregiver's Guide for Canadians or The Successful Caregiver's Guide! Please let me know which title you would prefer along with which format (I can offer you either book in EPUB or Kindle versions). And finally, please also let me know where I can e-mail you your e-book. Rick
DeleteAs one who had the tougher road to hike with Dad, after a stroke that left him with sight issues and the loss of his freedom (no driving) He took it out on us - so hard to even think about it now and its been 2.5 years!
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear your story. For seniors, giving up the car means giving up their freedom; independence; and, in a way, their own self-worth and pride (with losing their ability to drive - something that they were familiar with and could do so easily). Being chauffeured around by family caregivers can have its benefits; however, it is certainly not the same as jumping into one's own vehicle.
DeleteThank you for sharing your journey on this blog. My family didn't hike the mountains, but we took family walks on Sunday afternoons. Dad was a fount of knowledge about the bush. He helped us all with leaf collections, needle/cone collections and wood sample collections for the Fall Fair. Those walks shine like gold in my memory.
ReplyDeleteAny time together can be rewarding! Glad to hear that you can fondly look back and remember your Sunday afternoon walks with your father. I believe that you, not only, helped your family with provide them with quality time with your father, but you also helped your father by allowing him to share his knowledge with you.
Deleteinteresting post
ReplyDeletebn100candg at hotmail dot com
Thank you for your comment ... I am pleased that you appreciated what I wrote and found it valuable in some way.
ReplyDeleteI seem to live in 'seniors'ville [Oceanside, B.C.] and I have more than six friends in their eighties. One has Alzheimers, and is in a home, another also in a home, scoots around on his electric scooter, two travel to Turkey every summer and rejoice in the way airports whisk them around in wheelchairs between their flights. I think of the old saying, 'When you've seen one senior - you've seen one senior.' I really enjoy my time with my 'golden oldies'.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your comments! Hearing about active seniors is wonderful. Obviously, your "golden oldies" have embraced the concept of feeling young to stay young.
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ReplyDeleteThanks for being my guest, Rick. And thank you to all who visited and commented! Congrats to Amanda on winning Rick's book.
ReplyDelete